- you're scared and hungry
- it's dusk
- you think someone is following you
- and just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: shimmer, saccadic, substance, and salt.
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Stumbling like a drunk against the cold stone walls, tripping over things without substance, I fought to control myself.
She was coming. Had to keep moving, the light shimmered ahead in the doorway like a beacon from Heaven. Heaven before me, hell behind.
The fear clutched at me, tightening my lungs, constricting my heart. Hardly any breath, unsteady legs, stinging salt of tears and sweat trickling into my mouth. Not good enough. The energy was sapping rapidly now, my stomach a gnawing knot of emptiness.
The dimming light, warmth from the sun dying, proof the third day was ending.
Keep going, must keep going.
Resting against the freezing stone wall for a nanosecond, my eyes doing a saccadic dance between the beacon of salvation and the echoing footsteps in the dark. The damp seeps into my pores, fills my nostrils with the stench of my own fear. Not like this, please. I don't want to die.
The echoing steps come closer, a rapid staccato on the concrete ground.
With a strangled cry my legs move of their own accord, pulled by the invisible cord of instinct to safety. Nearly there. If only my legs weren't so wobbly. Damn it, run!
200 words! What do you think?