Closing the door to the room I felt uneasy. I love my husband. I left to find myself, not share a room with a past love.
We’d agreed to share a double room suite for the weekend. It was cheaper than two single rooms. I hoped he wasn’t expecting us to pick up where we’d left off in college. I worried my wedding ring on my right hand, as I watched him open his case.
I needn’t have worried. With a warm kiss he shut the door between our rooms and I slept alone. Of course I dreamed of them. The first kiss with Michael. Our wedding day. The first time I gazed on my beautiful children. The looks shared with Michael as they said their first words, took their first steps.
I woke with wet cheeks and Dan sitting in the chair across the room. My photo books were open on the table in front of him.
“You’re married. Have three kids.”
“Yes. Ten years in February. Caleb is seven, Jennifer and Elizabeth, five.” I sat and traced a finger over the photo of Caleb holding his newborn twin sisters with the help of his proud dad.
“Where are they?”
“At home.” I walked to the window and gazed at the people rushing by on the street, arms laden with shopping bags. “I love Michael, my children. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m a wife, mother. But who’s Alice? My life is totally defined by what I am and I want to be me. I don’t know who I am.”