 |
| click to read other entries! |
This is a snippet from my story The Price of Passion:
“What do you want?”
“I only want to say that I love you.”
To say she was floored is an understatement. It was the last thing she expected and it felt like a punch in the face.
“You’ve got to be joking,” she knew her laugh sounded shrill and desperate, didn’t care. “An hour ago you didn’t want to see me again. You kicked me out of my home, want to take my baby and now you say you love me?” She’d been wrong. Pain slashed at her chest so hard she hugged herself to stop it from bleeding outside her skin.
Warm, rough but gentle hands framed her face and she couldn’t, just couldn’t move away as Cooper sought her eyes with his own.
“I’m not joking.”
She couldn’t get a read on the truth. His eyes were wide and shimmering with things she’d only dreamed she’d see, desperately wanted to see. Didn’t want to believe, in case he was playing with her.
“I don’t believe you.” She hated how out of breath and pained she sounded. If he kept this up she was going to have another panic attack, and she’d believed she had them under control. Ha! Nothing was in control when it came to Cooper.
“I’m sorry, Billie. Sorry for not trusting you, for not believing in you. You’re the most honest woman I’ve met in a long time, and I wasn’t ready to trust, to risk.”
Did she dare believe it? “But?”
“Now I am.” He drew her towards him, one hand on her shoulder and other splayed on her neck, his face close enough to see the white tips at the end of his long eyelashes.
“I shouldn’t have kept the baby from you-”
Cooper kissed her finger. “I understand why you did, and I admire you for taking the chance to tell me of your love, even in the face of my rejection. Even now for forgiving me.” He hoped that was what was happening. Everything, the past two weeks of his anger and feeling betrayed, her admission of love today and his harsh negation of it, the realisation of his love for this bold, honest, striking woman, left him in a confusion of feeling that impossibly boiled down to doubt. Had he blown it?
“I forgive you, Cooper. I love you.
Very nice! I like the line about hugging herself to keep the pain in. So much going on here, I wonder what happens next! Great entry.
ReplyDeleteEdge of Your Seat Romance
That's so sweet, Kerrin. I loved that "Pain slashed at her chest so hard she hugged herself to stop it from bleeding outside her skin".
ReplyDeleteAlthough it seems like you've just given away the ending!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteOh, well done, Kerrin. Nice phrases, and tight writing. Love it.
I so remember Cooper & Billie the tiling girl! This has come a long way from when I read chapter one: your writing now fast-paced and full of bite. ;)
best
F
Great excerpt, so glad she was able to forgive him.
ReplyDeleteYou know...I read this twice and both times you took me on this fast-paced journey.
ReplyDeleteLove can bring out so many emotions in us.
I'm glad she forgave him, but I get a feeling there's more in store.
Fantastic snippet!
thanks for the comments guys! I cut and pasted this a bit so it's not the complete scene, but condensed into 400 words.
ReplyDeleteThey have a painful journey and it takes a while for this forgiveness to come complete!
Your characters must both forgive each other in order to find love. Well done.
ReplyDeleteNancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium
really nice excerpt.. Im glad she was able to forgive him:)
ReplyDeleteAlso for me this line was so very descriptive, i loved it- " Pain slashed at her chest so hard she hugged herself to stop it from bleeding outside her skin."
ReplyDeleteSounds like he needs a lot of forgiving - this feels like a pattern for him. And for her also, to get hurt and then forgive. Or, it could be just the social worker in me over working the theme :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome when families find a way to remain together. This excerpt shows a complicated relationship. Well done.
.......dhole
yeah, that line is my fav too! Sometimes i surprise myself!!
ReplyDeleteDonna - really? Hmm they both have a bit of a tortured past and Billie knew all of Cooper's so it was easier for her to forgive, just not to trust! Interesting what your own background has made you see...i like that!
I believe! Intense moment between these two. Wonder if the 'is' in the sentence below shouldn't be was.
ReplyDeleteTo say she was floored is an understatement.