Here i will share my journey of hopefully one day recognising my dream of becoming published writing what i love to read; Romance!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

RFW Heart Stopper!

Great opportunity with this theme for Romance. 
So come on all you RFWers, let's dance to the rhythm of romantic music. Let's see that setting sun and feel those heroic arms about us. Maybe you've got a holiday romance going down, or perhaps it's a beach party and there's a heart stopper of a guy there and, you're drooling! 
Whomever sets your heart pulsing let's hear about him.  ;)

So, from my Princess story, meet Maxwell Rosenthall:

Instinctively she inched closer to her mother and glanced at the fourth man.
Compared to the other three he stood relaxed, his weight balanced slightly on his left leg. His suit was a darker grey that somehow exuded unrestrained power. Tori wondered why he would need bodyguards. The fabric of his pants, though not fitted, showed clearly the strength in his long muscled legs. His jacket, wide at very broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist that just showed the strength in his torso more clearly. It was clear to her he would be able to handle himself.
Her perusal and musings were stopped in their tracks when he spoke. A rich rumbling British accent, tinged slightly with the lilt of Ireland. It flowed through her so quickly, warming her suddenly cold body, settled the spinning in her tummy to that of a calm lap against a sandy beach. She felt safe and absent of fear.
Why would a man’s voice affect her so much, especially one she’d never heard?
“Ma’am. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”
Her mother stepped forward and accepted his greeting with a little smile, a slight flush tinting her pale cheeks as she curtsied. Curtsied!
Kissing her cheek, the man held her close and said something in her ear that made her mother break out in a proper smile. He released her and when Tori tore her fascinated gaze from her suddenly happy mother being enfolded in her husband’s bracing arm, she was arrested by the deepest pair of blue eyes. The gentle lapping in her tummy, stilled and lay quiet as she drowned in their depths. The dark blue with hints of gold, as his strength had done had her at peace, safe and protected, like she was home.
Why then was her heart hammering so hard she was sure everyone could hear it, or at least see it trying it’s darndest to explode from her chest. Drowned as she was in his bottomless eyes, she vaguely saw a curtain of soft dark waves framing a strong face, a long straight nose and thin lips. 


  1. Hello Kerrin, Stopping by from your romantic suspense group to say hello! Hope you are enjoying the campaign ;)

  2. Hi kerrin - look forward to the re-post

  3. Hi Kerrin - I like this, very much. If I might suggest, perhaps a different description for his hair than waves, since you've already got the ocean lapping in her tummy in several places.

    Love those men with their Irish accents.

  4. thanks Beverly, well sighted and great suggestion!

  5. A nice snippet. I like that he makes her feel safe. Not every hero does that on first contact. :)

  6. Lots of description in this one. I like the idea that his voice and accent melted her heart. That happens to me when I hear certain accents/ voices ;O)

  7. Hi,

    Late I'm afraid, but I loved this. Just enough descriptive elements, loads of thought and musings, and of course a hot hot fella. ;)


  8. Hi Kerrin. I read this on my phone and my comment didn't take, whoops. Here I am doing my third pass for judging.

    You've certainly described a lot in so few words. Her feelings come through. Some great imagery. =D

  9. Hi Kerrin,

    Sorry that I'm late with my comments.

    Oooooh, lovely text. Your description makes me want to be Tori and meet this marvelous man! My heart beats faster with hers!

    A good body is not enough! It was wise of you to also give him a nice voice, speech and let him use his words well. I wouldn't mind a slight Irish accent either.

    Best wishes,

    Anna's RFW No. 17 'Heart-Stoppers'

  10. Hello, I enjoyed this excerpt but what I came looking for was what you had written for the first campaign challange.I'll stop by on the weekend to see if you've posted anything.

  11. Great description, and intriguing, it makes me want to read more!

  12. A warm 'at first glance' kind of scene. I felt the heart-stop here for Tori, for sure.