“They don’t know.” I knew by his tone he wasn’t judging me. Perhaps it was part of his job or it could be because he knew me once upon a time.
“No.” The guilt speared me and I sat on the floor. “I just left. He took the kids for a walk so I could have a sleep in. I just left.” He said nothing while I wept.
Handing me a flannel he helped me to the chair once I’d reduced the torrent to a sniffle.
“Are you leaving them?”
“No. No. I just want some time for me. To remember who I am. I don’t want to be just a wife, a mother.”
“You have to go back. Tell him. Sort it out.”
“Not today. Will you stay with me today, please?” I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. “Why didn’t you take advantage of this last night?”
He knew I was talking about the shared suite. “You didn’t want to. I knew something was up and wanted you to be sure. You’re married. You love him, them. You’re just confused.”
We ordered room service and got dressed.
“I’m going south in the morning. Another job.”
I nodded glancing at the photo of my family in my wallet.
“You’re a wife, a mother.” He grabbed me gently by the shoulders. “That is a gift. Talk to him. If he loves you he’ll understand and want to help you.”
“You don’t think he’d be angry and upset I left?” I doubted he’d take me back so easily after disappearing for a weekend.
Dan laughed. “You won’t be that lucky. Of course he will. But he’ll be relieved you came back. That you’re okay.”
I wasn’t so sure. I know I would never forgive myself for just leaving. Dan was right. I should have spoken with Michael. Anything would have been better than just leaving. Suddenly I knew I had to get back. Right now.
He saw it in my face. “Go. They need you. You’ll be okay, Alice.”
Kerrin Hearfield
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