First three chapters

That is what i'm working on.
Billie and Cooper's beginning. Re-titled The Price of Passion. I'm polishing and rewriting the start to submit to Harlequin.
I wasn't going to do this until i'd finished writing the entire ms. But prompted by the New Voices comp when i polished the first chapter, i decided why not do the first 3?!
Now i'm just waiting on the list on the NV site to see if i'm one of the ones they are going to be following up before i submit :)
What are you all up to?

Addictions

Is there something you just can't seem to control? Something you have to do or have?

Recently i discovered an addiction and have done something drastic in order to curb it. Are you strong enough to stop?

My Her,o Cooper is addicted to the scent of blueberries, which incidentally is the scent in Billie's perfume. It seeps under his control, a control he is determined to keep a hold of, a control that is slipping with every whiff he gets of the juicy, tantalising, sinful scent on her skin...of course it doesn't help that the scent evokes all sorts of sinful memories designed to tempt a saint ;)

So 'fess up - what's you addiction?

Slow and steady?

Well, after about 5 weeks of no writing this afternoon i have read through a few scenes of Ten Nights and made a few tweaks and written part of a next scene, but only written about 400 words.

But, i should be looking at the big picture. At the beginning i had told myself that if i can write a sentence a day, at least i'm writing!

So i've started back into it, slowly....

Method Writing

My friend, Nicole MacDonald, has written a fabulous post on her blog, Damsel in a Dirty Dress about Method Writing and it must have gotten my brain firing.

I was making my bed this afternoon - yes afternoon - we've had a busy day!! And there i was talking out loud as my character Billie! Laughing and grinning talking to my sister (her sister) about going on a date with Cooper!

So i quickly finished the bed and jumped on the computer and typed up the scene. It is the first words i have written in four weeks due to the editing i am doing, and it feels fantastic to be back into it!

I am going to try to do it everyday whilst still editing Nicole's story. Which is going to be hard due to it now being school holidays. Ah the joys of being a parent!

Do you method write?

Feeling the love

Thanks for all the encouragement from all my friends and followers :) It means a lot to know people i have never met care how i am going! Thanks.

Putting my head down - doubts and all - pushing through them and just writing is working. The word count is going up. Every day this week i have made a point of sitting down, even if for just five minutes and tapping away at the key board.

Billie is feeling the love, Cooper is being a bit stubborn, but that is true to his character and Billie will whip him into shape soon enough i'm thinking ;) That scene where he whips up something scrummy in the kitchen is coming soon, so we shall see if he can hold out for too much longer, hehe!!

Alpha issue

Do you think baking is too feminine?

All along it has been clear to me that my hero is a fabulous cook, so it makes sense that he would bake but as yet it hasn't come up in my WIP, but i am coming to a scene where he is going to be in the kitchen and i want to know.... do you think it is too wimpy for an alpha male to make blueberry muffins?

The smell of blueberries haunts him, it is the scent that Billie wears mixed with florals in her perfume and it compels Cooper to make muffins. Do you think it would be better to have the muffins already made and on the bench rather than have him whipping them up?

I am planning on him cooking her a fabulous feast later on that leads to dessert not of the food variety, well he hopes so anyway ;)

What are your thoughts?

The plotter may have to step in...

Well after a really slow start and then going at a fast clip (for me!) i seem to have come to screeching granny steps.

I have my characters who are bright and very determined to have their story told, i even have scenes further on in the story jumping at me to be written, but that seems to be the problem...

Getting my characters to those scenes that they are telling me they want, need to be at is the problem. They are not ready to be there just yet where i have written to so far. I'm not writing fast enough for them it would seem so i just have to keep plodding along, but how to get there??

I think this is where a bit of the plotter is going to have to kick in. I'm not going to map out the entire rest of their story, just a few points on how to get to the scenes they want to be at it would seem, as i can't seem to get them there so far. I don't want to lose the passion of the pantser as it is working for me so far (see previous posts!), so i will not be letting the plotter take over completely.

Does anyone else have these problems?

Revealing too Much, much too soon!

Okay, the writing is going really well now, i'm really pleased.

Last night i wrote close to 1,000 words the most i have written in a sitting for a while now, mostly due to time. I'm getting to the point where my Hero is going to reveal his proposal/demand of my heroine which is totally going to floor her, but for her own convoluted reasons she is going to accept it, with a few demands of her own of course!

My only problem now is that i find myself revealing way too much of their inner conflicts too soon. I'm only part way through the second chapter and i found myself reveal ALL of Billie's conflicts. In all of the Moderns/Heats that i've read conflicts were revealed gradually throughout the entire book sometimes not being completely revealed until the black moment. I'm so impatient and way too descriptive i find myself explaining everything, so i've had to cut and paste or just keep writing and then put huge page breaks between for use at a later date - i hate wasting what i've written (unless it is utter crap!).

Does anyone else suffer from early information overload or impatience like me, and how do you overcome this? Obviously with practice! But what else would you suggest?

Slow going, but i'm past chapter 1!

Yay, i've finally typed my characters through chapter 1! Phew that was hard going.

I really seem to struggle with getting that ground work laid out. I know what i want, have it all planned out in notes and in my head but when it comes to writing it, there go the snails....

Finally, though they are away. Though i know it will be painful when i go back to edit (won't do that until the end though!)

Hopefully it will be a bit faster from here, but i'm not holding my breath. It seems to be my way. Struggle through, but at least i get there!

Aim for a little bit at a time and at least the word count goes up steadily.

Thanks to everyone for all your encouragement, it really helps! :)

How is everyone else going?

Photo Board

Here it is as promised. Billie Martin and Cooper Wilde, their life in pieces set out for you to see. Well the bare bones of the background and in bits and pieces of where things will happen that is :) (some of them!)

Set in Windy Wellington and having a starring role in Oriental Bay, these two will confront their conflicts and finally get their happily ever after!

I wrote only 200 words yesterday due to daughter being home sick with a cold, no writing as yet today, but hopefully will get some in tonight.

How much is too much?

So instead of writing on thursday i did research for Ten Nights.

I researched mosaic designs in bathrooms as this is what Billie will be doing for Cooper when he hires her. He doesn't know it is her and vice versa until he opens the door.

I've done a mosaics course myself so i know how to do it, but i wanted a few ideas on ideas and a bit more of a background on the process. In particular the proper grout to use and sealant and the best tiles to use. And of course design ideas. Something sensual and stirs up memories...

Since i was googling i also took a look at a few other things.

How easy is it for you to get sidetracked with 'research' instead of word count? Do you find you are so easily distracted? Can you ever do too much research.

I also created a photo board/collage to work from, instead of opening up my photos application everytime i needed a refresher to describe something i decided it would be easier to have it all on one paper on the wall in front of me (i'll post a pic when i take one :)). Does anyone else do these?

Writing is a tricky business

So i've done my character interviews. Feel like i know my characters better and how they will handle/react to each other without having me force them to do something they dig their heels in for...

Then BAM! Lightbulb moment while driving this morning and i realised i had Cooper's Internal Conflict completely wrong, but at least i now know exactly what it is! Truly i do.

Now i have the problem with Billie. Her IC doesn't conflict enough with Cooper's, so there will not be enough tension in the story, as it stands at the moment, to continue to keep them apart plausibly. Except for the External Conflict. Urgh!

Now i feel i have to take another step back and work more on Billie's character before i can continue crafting their HEA. If she isn't right, then their story wouldn't be right either.

This is why many people WANT to write a novel, but only a few ever DO!

Writing is a tricky business. Hopefully i will get this soon, but not too quickly. I don't want to know it all and then become bored! This bumpy road is part of the excitement, right?!

Jackie Ashenden has written a couple of really great posts on creating a hero and heroine on her blog and i have re-read each so often i have them by heart! For an (as yet but not too long!) unpublished author her information is gold. Check it out if you are having trouble crafting your own hero and heroine.

Crafty beggars!

And we're off!

I've started! 356 words for Ten Night Only rewrite. Billie and Cooper and getting their real story written at last and you know, it feels so right!

At a snails pace i'll admit it, but i've started. And most of the writing today is in note form, but at least i know where i am going and this is mostly how i write anyway.

I write the notes then fill in the detail later. Plump it up with the juicy bits of description and dialogue and when it comes to me, as it comes to me and when i get stuck go back to note form.

That way i don't get writer's block and words keep going.

Of course when i go back to re-read it is a bit dis-jointed but that is part of the fun, discovering where it needs the colour!

How do you write?

Roadblock

Well yesterday was going to be my first total morning dedicated to writing. I've done my characters interviews so feel i have a handle on my characters and their conflict. It means a complete overhaul on the story i'd submitted to the Harlequin competition last year but essentially the premise is the same, just the characters are different. Stronger.

So what happened?

My son and daughter caught the tummy bug going around at kindy and then i got it too!

So no word count, no nothing.

Just a bucket and glasses of water and conflicts and characters swimming in my head!

I will definately be begging my husband to watch the kids for some time over the weekend so i can write. I NEED to!

Behind the Scenes

Okay so i haven't been adding to the word count lately, but not all writing is writing, right?

I have been doing research for Ten Night's Only, Billie Martin and Cooper Wilde's story. This story is set in Windy Wellington, New Zealand and i used this for my competition entry for the Harlequin competition.

I've been doing things like researching penthouse suites, the Plimmer Steps, Wellington Architecture and today i have done the most important of all. Which i perhaps should have done at the very beginning!

Character Interviews. All the author (published) blogs i follow have touted how important it is to really know your characters and the best way to do that is through interviewing them.

Today i took a sheet of questions i'd printed from Nicola Marsh's blog under her Write Whisper series of writing tips and applied them to Billie and Cooper.

I feel i have unravelled truely deeper, rounder, better characters as a result. Sadly, or maybe even not, i think i am going to completely scrap my first chapter and a half and start again as i have discovered things about these characters i hadn't known that has thrown them into totally new positions, no pun intended ;), occupationally speaking which i hope will throw them more favourably into view with the editors at harlequin when i re-submit this story.

The premise is the same. That is, the core problem and situation that i had them in to start with the same, but their individual goals and situations are different, and i hope better.

Next week, once i am at home and at my own computer - in my new office nook (will have to get that up and operation asap!) that word count will hopefully reflect this new inspiration.

In the meantime i will be working behind the scenes to make sure it will be clean sailing as much as possible for these two rocky lovers ;)

A reason for the lack...

Well thought i would share the good news behind the lack of the word count.

We are on our way to joining the ranks of home ownership!

On Monday late afternoon we put in an offer which was negotiated and then accepted - we now have to wait for all conditions to be accepted and then we move in on 10 Feb!

This is really fast and just in time as we have to be out of our current place by Feb 12th. So the house is covered in boxes and we are furiously packing the cleaning, so alas no word count.

I hope to have this creeping steadily upwards from 23rd Feb onwards.

Billie and Cooper WILL get their HEA, just like we are!

Word Count Meter

Yay. If you care to look to the right you will see my word count meter! If anyone else wants one i got it from Writertopia. I finally figured out how to get it to work.

I feel so proud to be able to display it - even though i still haven't added any actual words to that count yet this year, but our Little Princess is due to start Kindy in a few weeks so with both her and Little Man out of the way for two mornings of the week i shall have plenty of time for writing! Watch that counter bar go up!

Cooper and Billie will finally get a resolution and their Happily Ever After!

So exciting.

Agreed: Ten Nights Only - Chapter One

Well here was my submitted Chapter. Have a read and let me know your thoughts. What worked for you? Don't be nasty, constructive feedback would be great :)

“Please, please, please. Oh dear God, please.”

Billie wasn’t certain what she was praying for exactly. Perhaps to wake and find it was just a horrible nightmare.

Staring at the blue stick and watching the cross appear in the window, she wrapped her arms around her waist and fought the sudden nausea and churning from the pit of her stomach.

Pregnant. Oh God. How is that possible? It’s impossible. It’s a mistake. I can’t be pregnant.

Racing from the bathroom to the bedroom, still clutching the offending test, Billie tore open her handbag, dumping the contents on the bed. She sorted through the receipts, a lipstick, lid-less pen, colourful paper umbrella…the churning in her belly dropped as suddenly and heavily as a bowling ball when she found the thirty day pill packet and two white tablets glaring starkly at her.

How had she missed two? She was so careful about taking the damn things, every morning, 6:30 before stepping into the shower…except for those two days when she didn’t get out of bed. Numb with shock she hadn’t even known two days had passed; until her sister had shown up and urged her out of bed

Billie sank to the carpeted floor, positive test in one hand, pills in the other, with her forehead on her knees she finally let the tears fall. She’d simply packed the new packet and taken them religiously while on holiday.

Cooper had used protection. Though she remembered with a shiver of alarm there had been one time the passion had taken them too suddenly for thought.

The third morning of their affair, Cooper returned to her private bungalow after his customary run along the waters edge and found her doing yoga, her bottom high in the air. A short two hours earlier she’d demonstrated her flexibility and had only now just gotten her heart rate and wondering mind back under control. With only a burning look as warning of intent Cooper hauled her up by her hips and crushed her between the wall and his sweaty body. With a wicked mouth and skilled hands he’d soon had her calm heartbeat racing in time with her blood, matching the pace of his own. His hands raced down her body, roughly cupped her bottom and with a speed that made her gasp with excitement, drove them both insane with desire.

All from the sight of her bottom in the air. The one part of herself she wasn’t entirely happy with, Cooper had found irresistible. After when he’d realised how out of control he’d been she’d assured him she was protected.

It wasn’t entirely not possible to be pregnant.

Billie stood wiping angrily at her wet cheeks, pushed her clinging hair out of her eyes. No use for tears. They’re not going to solve your problem, Billie Martin.

With a decided shake of her head she marched back to the bathroom and stared at her puffy, slightly pale, face in the mirror. Saw with disinterest her brown hair sticking everywhere in spiky tufts. Billie combed a hand through it trying without success to tame the wild tangles.

Right. First thing’s first. After tidying myself up, go to the doctor. Need to find out what harm the pills have done to the baby.

The baby.

Suddenly a warm glow spread heating her entire body. Billie spread her hands over her flat stomach in wonder at the little life beginning to form, trying to picture what it would look like. Ten tiny fingers and toes. Button nose, big round eyes, tiny ears. It was a miracle all of that was forming and growing inside her.

Another realisation struck her. She had no idea about babies. What did they need? Did they have classes for such things? How did she change a nappy? What did babies eat? At some stage they had more than milk, she knew that much, but how was she supposed to know what to feed one?

What was she allowed to eat? God, what if the egg and cheese sandwich she’d had on the way from the gym to the supermarket today was bad for the baby?

“Definitely need a book.” They had them for random things like the shape of rain drops for goodness sake; surely there was one about pregnancy. And parenting. Her mind tumbled over all the stages she knew she’d have to go through. Toilet training, school, ‘the talk’. Shutting her eyes to stop the onslaught all the images did to her already fragile emotional state she forced the hard lump from her throat and took a deep breath. She was resourceful. She’d figure it out.

Of course it would be easier if they were a family.

Billie stared into her wide, slightly gold, brown eyes now rimmed red from tears. A family was more than a mother and baby. Even if the father was across the ocean, they could still visit, still be a family… if she could find him. If he wanted to know.

Slowly she washed her tears away with a warm flannel as the tumult of shock, then the warm joyful glow of discovery clashed with the sudden fear and melted into a deep sadness that Cooper wouldn’t be there to share it. To love them.

He was marrying someone else.

Just because she had been the bigger person and had walked away from a bad situation, didn’t mean she couldn’t handle this one. She would love the child enough for two parents, hopefully.

There wasn’t much she regretted in her twenty five years. Now her regret was for the man who had shown her nine nights of blistering, fantastic passion. That he’d made her the other woman. That he wasn’t here to share the joy of the baby.

Of course he had a right to know he was going to be a father-

Billie raced up the stairs to the door when the bell rang and stared blankly at her sister, glanced at her watch.

“Oh blast.” She had to go to work. She’d have to go to the doctor tomorrow. Whirling she pulled up short at the base of the stairs and stared flabbergasted at the chaos she’d created in her normally ordered apartment. Clothes were on the lounge floor, a shirt on the lime green couch. Mail tossed on the floor, not the coffee table.

Wandering mutely down to the lowest level she saw she hadn’t even put the groceries away. When she’d walked down the feminine hygiene aisle at the supermarket the blue and white box had shone at her from the shelf claiming to show a result in one minute, and she knew. Just knew it.

Now looking at the mess she realised a baby, a child, would undoubtedly make worse mess. And her one bedroom three storied inner-city Wellington apartment was hardly appropriate to raise a baby.

A weight of sudden magnitude settled on her shoulders. She was so totally out of her depth. Unprepared for a baby. She longed to call her mum but wanted to let it all settle in her head first. Besides she should probably try to contact Cooper first.

This was not what she’d been looking for when she’d embarked on her aborted honeymoon alone, agreeing to an affair to shake herself out of comfortable.

Now she was pregnant. And single-

“Are you okay?”

“What?” She was snapped from her musings by her sister’s voice and the sound of footsteps on the stairs. She’d forgotten Camryn was even there. She supposed her rapid emotional changes were due to the pregnancy. Another thing she’d have to find out about.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just a busy day.” Very busy past hour. Mentally. Emotionally.

From amongst the packets and tins she gathered up the milk and yoghurt – probably can’t eat them anyway - and shoved them into the fridge before heading for the bathroom.

She swiped up the test with discarded clothes from her bed on the way and hoped Camryn hadn’t seen it. Last thing she needed was to explain something she was still getting her own head around. She sped through her makeup application and reached for a shirt.

“Is it Ryan?” Camryn perched on the corner of her bed as Billie walked out of the bathroom.

Billie paused in the act of smoothing down her fitted cream work shirt - really should have ironed it.

Ryan was the farthest person from her mind. In fact she hadn’t thought of him at all apart from the slight annoyance when she’d packed the rest of his things into the large box and shoved it in the corner, the day after she’d arrived back from holiday.

So strange to feel so little after having spent five years with him.

But she felt so much after only nine nights with another man. Tall, tanned, handsome. Sexy as sin and in bed…

“You came straight back to work and haven’t even taken the time to get rid of his stuff. What are you going to do with it all?”

“I haven’t decided.” Billie shook her head from the past and watched as Camryn bent down to the box and flipped through a book. It was hard to believe that box contained all that was left of the man she’d been on the verge of marrying.

“You should’ve taken time off.” Camryn insisted, dropping the book and nudging the bulging box with a booted foot. “You do so much for that place, they owe you.”

“It’s my job, Cam. And I had time off. Two weeks.”

Camryn snorted. “It was supposed to be your wedding and honeymoon-”

“I’m fine. Drop it okay?”

When her sister crossed her arms and raised a carefully plucked eyebrow, Billie flushed at the inspection of her face. Obviously she didn’t look fine. She never could hide much from her baby sister.

Except the current situation.

“What happened in Vanuatu, Billie? You haven’t said anything about it apart from the food being delicious and the view lovely.”

Billie paused from shoving her things back into her handbag. Even to her ears it sounded dull and unconvincing. Nothing at all compared to the passion and excitement she’d felt.

“There was a guy, wasn’t there?”

Blinking back the wave of shock and dizziness the whirl of memories that flew through her head that was caused by Camryn’s rapt tone, she had no idea how she got them both out of the apartment and led the way down The Terrace, nor what her response had been.

There was only so long before Camryn would find out. Billie wanted more time to sort it all out first.

How long before she started to show? Oh God. A cold wash of horror filled her so suddenly she gasped and fought for breath, feeling almost dizzy. She’s gonna get fat. Every woman complained of baby fat after they’d had a baby, didn’t they? Her mind whirled instantly to her own mother. She was slim at fifty, after two children. Billie forced her mind to believe if her mother could do it, so could she. Where did she even go for pregnancy clothes? There had to be a shop that specialised in those things.

A wave of nausea hit her at the mental image of herself in a size twenty t-shirt stretched taut over an enormous belly and massive breasts. She really needed to get that book, search the net. She forced these thoughts to the back of her head.

Billie left her sister at the bottom of Plimmer Steps on a busy Lambton Quay and walked briskly towards the Harbour View Hotel, Wellington’s four star hotel where she managed the conventions and events department.

She had to meet the new boss this afternoon. Had to make sure she kept her job. She may not know all she needed to about babies but she did know she’d need the money. She’d heard all about the other employees being fired after meeting with Mr Wilde. She was pretty certain her record would vouch for her.

Despite the beautiful spring day, she shivered and pulled her thigh length red Paddington coat tighter at her throat, when the southerly wind slipped its fingers down the back of her neck after having wound its way around the various sized steel and glass buildings on the busy waterfront city.

All things going to plan, he would be impressed with her initiative and the changes she’d installed. He could be really nice and not at all like the big overpowering mountain of a man she had imagined when management had told them the hotel had been bought by a company called Wilde Enterprises.

No one had even known the hotel had been on the market.

Probably a corporate take-over. They did happen all the time.

Luckily her department had already been under way on the revamping project she’d started after returning from Vanuatu. She’d needed it to help keep her from fantasising about Cooper.

Tall, generously built, American. She’d drooled over him on the beach, he’d shown her all the passion and excitement she’d wanted and then broke her heart.

Not that she’d fallen in love with him or anything.

It hadn’t been part of the deal. Caring, even a small bit, had been an express no-no. It was her problem.

But now they both had a problem.

Not that she thought the baby was a problem. The problem was how to tell Cooper’s fiancée he was going to be a father with the woman he had an affair. Though it shouldn’t be her concern, Billie could only imagine how the poor woman would feel. A lot worse than when she’d found Ryan in bed with someone else the day before their wedding, that’s for sure.

She really should find out where Cooper was. He should at least know about the baby. A baby deserved to be acknowledged and loved by both parents, even if they didn’t love each other. Her own parents had taught her that at least.

As she strode down the wide, slightly smelly alley-way behind the hotel to the staff entrance, she glanced again at her watch. She’d have time to call the hotel in Vanuatu to see if he was still there, or at least find out where he’d gone.

Surely she could persuade them to tell her.

Billie scowled at the scribbles on her page. After twenty minutes on her cell to the hotel, not only would they not tell her where he was, she’d realised she didn’t even know his surname.

They’d shared nine nights of hot, blistering passion, it had been a wonder the sheets hadn’t caught aflame, but hadn’t shared important details such as last names or where they lived.

Well he hadn’t anyway. He definitely knew she was from New Zealand; he’d asked about her accent.

All she’d been able to tell the snippy male on the other end as she’d bitten back her frustration was that Cooper had been in management and had stayed in a suite there. He refused to tell her anything.

He wouldn’t even confirm if they had a Cooper on staff when she knew very well they did. She had a moment of fear that he’d lied about his name. After pleading with the man that it was a matter of a precious life did he finally concede to tell her a Cooper left three weeks ago, but wouldn’t say where.

Billie ran her fingers through her hair, wincing at the snag. How on earth was she supposed to find him now? America was a huge place. She had no way of even knowing which state he lived in. Maybe he didn’t even live in America. Having an accent didn’t mean anything. Finding a Cooper without a last name made matters worse. It would be like finding a pin amongst a million hair clips. They hadn’t exactly talked about personal details. It hadn’t been part of the agreement.

Ten nights of passion. No future. And according to her fantastic lover, anything outside of their holiday had been a no go for conversation.

“Tough day, Billie?”

Billie looked up sharply at Sally, Mr Wilde’s temporary Executive Assistant standing in the doorway.

“A bit. Oh God am I late?” Her gaze flew to the clock on the wall then to her watch realising it was four o’clock already.

“No, no. I was on my break and swung by on the way up.”

“Thanks, Sally.” Shrugging into her dark brown uniform blazer she gathered up her report and followed Sally down the white corridor lined with stacked chairs and large oval tables, trolleys holding clean glassware stacked in crates, and into the glaringly white, chipped and stained, large staff lift.

On the ground floor they quickly walked through the small walkway behind the guest toilets and staff kitchen through another door, and into the guest hallway with décor of warm chocolate and cream shot through with burgundy swirls. The only sound was their muffled footsteps in the plush carpet. Billie broke the silence.

“Do you know anything about him?”

Sally turned her pale blue eyes towards Billie and shifted her long ash blonde plait over her right shoulder.

“No. He’s been here two days and hasn’t said if he’s bringing his own assistant or anything. I don’t know if I’ll still have a job when he leaves.”

“You know how long he’s staying?”

The plait flapped back on the left shoulder. “Nope. He keeps talking to someone on the phone about hoping it won’t take too long, but so far I haven’t been able to figure out what it is he’s referring to.” Sally let Billie past her out of the elevator.

“Maybe he’ll be gone by the end of the week and have appointed a new manager.” Billie said with a quick smile.

“I’m sure I don’t know. So far he’s only fired people, not hired them.”

As the sound of their heels clicked a staccato loudly on the foyer tiles of dark brown with gold flecks, Billie’s palms suddenly grew clammy and she blinked in alarm. The new owner’s dark brown office door loomed ahead when they turned right, passed concierge and the inviting couches at check in, and she was suddenly overcome with dread.

“You don’t think he’ll fire me do you?”

God she needed this job. Now more than ever. What if he didn’t approve of the changes she’d made, that they were still undergoing.

“Of course he won’t. You’ve worked so hard. Made the ballroom so beautiful. All those lights.” Sally stepped behind her desk with a sigh and a dreamy roll of her eyes and gave Billie an encouraging smile. “Oh. Brace yourself. He’s hot.”

“Hot?” She wiped her still damp hands on her dark skirt, tucked a stray hair behind her left ear, regretting she hadn’t freshened up before coming down. A quick pat confirmed her hair was a mess, not the carefully controlled array she’d managed before her phone call to Vanuatu.

“Incredibly. And built.” With a wink Sally pushed the intercom on her phone and announced Billie was there.

Great. Hot and built. That was all she needed. She’d just spent the last twenty minutes trying to track down the father of her baby who was hot and built but totally clueless about love and relationships.

This one was bent on firing people. And she looked a mess. She regretted her wrinkled shirt too and hoped he wouldn’t notice it under her dark chocolate blazer.

If Sally was right, he probably had an ego the size of the Pacific to go with his looks. No way she wanted another run in with an egotistical male. Too many secrets.

Of course, Sally tended to think any man in a suit was hot.

Opening the door and with a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows Sally mouthed ‘Hot’ before Billie walked in.

And came to an abrupt halt, her heart slamming to lodge in her throat.

‘Hot’ burst through her suddenly foggy brain, as did the image from her memory of a built body practically naked in transparent white boardies. The indecent swim shorts showing every inch of maleness and the rivulets of salt water licking a gorgeously sculpted frame, causing tremors of desire through parts of her body she’d thought long asleep. Built was an understatement.

What on earth was he doing here? She was very mindful of her body’s reaction to his magnificent body covered in a crisp white shirt and black pleated pants. Just as her body had reacted with the same intensity when he had been practically naked. Like a flash fire she was suddenly too warm. The sight of his firm lips, the memory of them bruising her own in a possessive kiss. The intense blue eyes.

From a distance she heard the door pulled carefully shut and suddenly she was made aware of her unschooled reaction.

“I thought you preferred bold suggestions to gaping like a fish when you meet a man.”

Her face flamed in mortification from her recollection of how they’d met. “I want to lick those nipples and trace the sexy line of hair over that incredible body where it disappears into those clinging, shamelessly white boardies.” She hadn’t been aware she’d spoken out loud when she’d watched the water caress his body.

She hadn’t meant to say her thoughts out loud two months ago. It seemed her brain wasn’t functioning well now either, but at least she had control this time of what came out of her mouth.

“Cooper. What’re you doing here? I just tried to contact you.”

“After your sudden departure, I can’t imagine why.” His derisive tone was completely lost on her as his deep American accent rumbled through her very core, sparking any un-alerted nerve endings into sudden overdrive. The memory of his voice she’d had in her head every night since leaving the beautiful island was nothing to the reality.

Of course she’d never expected to see him standing before her in New Zealand. Or that the sexual punch at the sight of him was still as powerful and potent as ever. She could actually feel her blood heating at the sight of him, those nerve endings connecting suddenly and exploding throughout her body, the memories of all he had done to her body, what she’d done to his, played like a movie flash sequence through her mind. These memories were in more vivid detail than the ones she had during sleep.

Another memory, hard and sharp burst through the passion-filled haze.

The voluptuous blonde perfectly dressed, perfectly pretty with her perfect pout making cow eyes at Cooper. “But Cooper, honey, you will be back in time for our wedding? It’s in three months. I don’t want to put it off again.”

She sternly reminded herself why she’d left in the first place. He wasn’t capable of things such as love, commitment. Fidelity.

The very things she’d realised she wanted. Not just the passion and excitement from their love making. So they’d had a blistering affair. Now she had a baby to think about. It would not do to give in to her desire again.

“How’s Clarissa?”

“How do you know Clarissa?” That was the last thing Cooper expected her to say. He’d been waiting for her to say something bold and outrageous like she had on the beach. The memory of her words and her exotic eyes making their bold journey over his body was making it hard to focus, to remember why he was here.

To end it.

“Don’t you have a wedding to attend next month?”

“It’s not for five weeks.” He waved the question away. “I’ve got plenty of time.”

When he’d bought the hotel hoping to find Billie and finish what she’d abruptly cancelled by her departure, he’d planned on treating their meeting like he did all his meetings. In control. Sure of the outcome.

Calm.

Wanting to strip her out of her ugly blazer and see her delectable body as he’d seen it everyday for nine days, boldly outlined in flirty dresses or the skimpy alluring red bikini. His desire flared dangerously at the memory of her strong supple body on display for his caress. Eager and always ready for him.

He hadn’t planned on the instant desire the sight of her caused to his system. After nine nights of passion, throat clutching intensity and such searing heat he thought he’d be able to see her and not feel a quickening to his pulse, the out-of-control hum in his blood.

Obviously she wasn’t out of his system.

It was just as he suspected. He needed that one last night to finish it. Then she’d be out of his head and he could concentrate on business. Be back in total control of his body as well as his mind.

Cooper watched her carefully try to smooth her wayward hair behind her left ear, her blazer gaping at the front, her shirt pulling tantalisingly across her breasts. The action, so small caused no small ripple through his body. It amazed him the effect she still had on him.

Hardening his resolve he willed his body under control. He could not allow his body to control his mind. Never again.

“What’re you doing here, Cooper?” She gulped and took a small step back as he purposefully strode from around his desk, her strange, beautiful accent doing its damnedest to dent his resolve.

Cooper found her retreat curious. She wasn’t the bold and confident woman he knew. Why was her reaction almost timid now?

“I own this hotel. And we have business to settle. It’s not finished between us, Billie. We had an agreement. Ten nights. I’m here to finish it.”

“You think I’m a business deal? You waltz in here and expect me to jump at your command?” Her eyes blazed like molten gold, nostrils flaring slightly, her timidity replaced with sudden heat.

Cooper felt relieved as indignant colour bloomed in her cheeks. He preferred her passionate response to the uncertain one.

“I always claim what’s mine, Billie.” He stalked her across the room, now amused at her retreat, noticing her gold eyes were wide, and her breathing suddenly laboured. Was it from desire? He was dying to find out.

“What’s yours?”

Her breathy reply was the answer he sought. It was most definitely desire. He hadn’t even touched her. Yet.

“I still have one more night with you.” He let himself touch her face, trailed a feather-light path from her hairline at her temple around her delicate ear to the tantalising jumping pulse in her neck. He smiled when she swallowed convulsively.

“One night?”

She seemed to have lost her ability to think when he touched her. Interesting. It occurred to him he’d never taken the time to explore her every reaction to him. They’d never done much talking during their passionate affair. The desire to learn it all burned deep inside the pit of his stomach.

He forced the desire down. He had to stay in control.

“We agreed to ten.” If he had her one more time, perhaps it would be enough to drive her taste, her intoxicating scent, the sound of her moans, her from his mind once and for all. “I want that night, Billie.”

Hauling her close he smoothed his hands up her slim body to cup the sides of her breasts, pausing as he imagined an added fullness that hadn’t been there before. He cast the thought aside; reality was better than memory. Holding her still with one hand spanning her ribs, he slid his other to trail down his favoured path of her long sexy spine, thrilled at her impossibly soft skin. Her shiver and gasp of passion made him smile.

“What about Clarissa?”

“Forget Clarissa. I want that night Billie. I want you.”

Capturing her mouth with his, he plundered, spanning his hands under her shirt to cup her through her lacy bra, feeling her nipples strain and pearl beneath his thumb. Holding on to a tiny sliver of hard won control so as not to lose himself in the feel of her, lose himself completely as he’d allowed himself to do that last time they’d been together. He could not afford to go there again. He had to get her out of his mind, not lose himself in her.

Billie pulled her mouth away and he feasted on her exposed collar, thrilled that the exotic floral scent was still there. Uniquely blended with an unnameable scent. All Billie. He could feel his control falling millimetre by slippery millimetre as the scent of her filled him, branded him.

“I – I can’t.”

Lifting his head Cooper was grateful for the break in contact with her bare skin; he was able to haul his wavering control back again and locked them behind iron will.

He saw the desire on her face, felt it racing through her body where his hands possessed her. He was sure of the outcome now. He was in control.

Cooper felt triumph mix with the heat of his desire.

Drawing her parted lips to his, he thrust his tongue inside, glorifying at her shudder, the small hitch in her breath then the bold mating of her tongue with his. He didn’t know how he did it, the iron bars wobbled slightly at her boldness when she found his skin under his shirt with her seeking fingers, tangled her fingers in the short hairs on his chest, but he remained in control.

Satisfied with her response he pulled back so only their breaths mingled.

“Can’t or won’t?”

copyright Kerrin Hearfield 2009

A Big Rejection

Well i got my reply from the competition, and as a first rejection goes this one is pretty good:

Thank you for submitting your first chapter to The Harlequin Presents Writing Competition 2009. The winners have now been notified and we’re sorry to say that your entry was not successful.

You may be wondering if you should revise your story? On the whole, we'd advise against this, but instead recommend that you start afresh with something completely new. Of course, we understand that you’ll want to know the reasons why your chapter didn’t make it into our shortlist, but unfortunately we can’t give individual feedback to every entrant. However you may want to take a look at the most common mistakes we saw in this year’s competition entries, which you can find here: http://www.iheartpresents.com/2009/11/contest-update-feedback-from-the-editors/

We appreciate your interest in Harlequin Mills & Boon and wish you all success with your future writing.

Yours sincerely,

Editorial Department

The editorial Department may advise against revising my chapter, but Billie and Cooper still want their story to be written so it will be. It will be my learning piece. I can and will finish their story. I owe it to them, to myself and to those who have read that first chapter and have begged for more!
But you know what? I really don't think the Presents line was for me anyway. It is really fun to read and has been fun to create. I am going to finish this story and Logan's Angel which i started as the first idea for the competition, mostly because i hate to leave anything unfinished.
And because i may find that i do like writing it, after all you can trick yourself into enjoying things when you don't want to do it.
I think my true passion lies in the longer novel but we shall see. I will keep writing and see where 2010 takes me, who knows, Logan's Angel may be a hidden gem that i submit and am successful with? Or it could be my baby, Secrets and Lies.

Not a Winner...but still a pursuer

Well i didn't win the harlequin presents competition or place as a runner up but big congratulations to the 4 ladies who did! Wow what a feeling that must be.
Really looking forward to the feedback - i hope - that is coming by the 18th December.
I really hope i didn't commit the seven sins detailed on the ihearts site:

not enough dialogue - this may have been a problem as i do love internal dialogue!
dire dialogue - stilted and unrealistic? I hope not - i do struggle with it but i did try to make it 'real'
well-worn plots and characters - could very possibly be a sin (sheepishly duck head)
random meetings and meandering action - Billie and Cooper didn't meet at random in chapter one as they already knew each other so i definately didn't commit this one!
inappropriate first kisses sexual premises - mine did not lack emotional underpining so i don't think i committed this one!
unattractive heroes - I think Cooper is hot and he definately isn't nasty or too aggressive, but i'm not a judge.

If no detailed feedback then i will still finish Billie's and Cooper's story. And i will by no means stop writing. It is my first competition and i have many many ideas still milling around in my head (maybe that's why i have all the headaches? you could be right Karina!)

In fact i am going to put out there right now my writing goals for 2010. So they are written in stone for all to see so i can't change them.

Ten Nights Only will be finished by March 31. and submitted through normal lines.

Logan's Angel will be finished by June 30. and submitted through normal lines

Secrets and Lies will be reworked and edited and finished by December 31st.

Of course any other ideas will be drafted and filed and if they simply must be written then they will be, but the others will not be pushed aside in favour, they will have to wait patiently. yeah right.