Show not Tell : Campaign Challenge

Third Challenge for the Campaign. (i think i missed the second one!)

Check out the full details here

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post shouldshow:

• that it’s morning, 

• that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach

• that the MC (main character) is bored

• that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting

• that something surprising happens.

Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses. AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them). .

Here's my stab at it!

Through amber tinted sunglasses, Jodie watched the determined surfers tackling the rowdy waves. Stupid wastopaneers. The rising sun seeped into her skin making her all droopy and blah. Wasn’t supposed to be so hot this early. 

Shifting uncomfortably to a shady spot on the hot sand she blew out a breath, ignoring the synbatec buzzing close by. Not even the slight breeze could dispel the feeling that she could be doing something so much better than soaking in the sun, being bitten by the tiny, hungry bloodsuckers hidden in the sand. Anything. 

Why did I come here? Hate the beach. Can’t swim so no point in taking a dip. Can’t be bothered doing anything else.

Inhaling the salty air and ending on a sigh, the sharp tang of something tacise hit her nostrils. Geez, what died?

Wind rustled through the tall palm leaves above, dappling the sand around her, ruffling her limp, damp hair. Worse. It propelled the stink from behind the tree right into her face.

Bleark! Covering her mouth and nose with a sweaty palm she lifted her sunnies and peered through the leaves. Breathing through her teeth and willing the lumpy, salty taste at the back of her throat away, her toes searched the hot sand for her jandals. 

The shiver caught her unaware, her skin pebbling painfully.  Bending low and lifting the surprisingly cool leaves with one hand, she toed the brown clump. Hissing, the hairy flesh shifted as the flies covered the hole her toe created. 

Jodie jumped back retching, all thought of breathing carefully gone.

Stomach pitching wildly she turned away focusing on the crashing waves and the unaware surfers.

How the hell am I going to tell Michelle?

word count: 282

Did i show? Tell me where i've told and let me know where i need work!

First Campaign Challenge

Firstly, welcome to all my new followers! I hope i get to visit your blogs/sites in return soon, if i haven't already :)

On to the first challenge:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

The door swung open and Tori held her breath. Heart in her throat she slowly let her breath out and watched it ruffle the lone spider web in the otherwise clean interior cavity.

Obviously this passage was well used. Or at least kept in an inhabitable condition.

Her footsteps echoed on the flagstones under foot as she carefully started through. At a junction she stopped and chewed her lip while she considered. Straight ahead got darker, and to the left there were little lights recessed into the wall close to the floor. Decision made, Tori head for the lights.

Passing ten lights she came to another door, wider than the one leading from the portrait hall. Placing her hand on the door she had a sudden shiver as the damp air in the tunnel blew towards her. Voices behind the door bolstered her courage. The housekeeper must be here.

The door opened with only a slight effort, without a groan of hinges as she’d expected. Stepping onto the plush carpet and facing the full window drenched in morning sun, she glanced to the right.

“Welcome, child. I’ve been expecting you.”

With a distant thud she heard the door shut behind her.

201 words! A snippet from my Princess story, this part hasn't been written yet, but has got the juices flowing :) My entry is 334 Go here and like it!

Write Campaign

Hi all!
I've joined the write campaign set up again by Rach Harrie!
I've joined the Romance/Sweet/Contemporary/historical group, and the Romantic Suspense group.
I look forward to visiting your blogs, adding you to my blog roll so i'm kept up to date with you all, and perhaps one day sharing some writing and helping with criticing (if that's what you'd like!).