tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189057993341683394.post4516399146776693848..comments2023-10-05T04:34:22.752+13:00Comments on Kerrin Hearfield: Agreed: Ten Nights Only - Chapter OneKerrinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06808737330801680632noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189057993341683394.post-28883309988991178942009-12-26T21:41:16.746+13:002009-12-26T21:41:16.746+13:00Francine - Yes Cooper is very much in for a surpri...Francine - Yes Cooper is very much in for a surprise!!<br /><br />Lolo Dee - Thanks for the great comments. I hadn't thought there was too much back story but it is definately something to look at when i start editing and reworking in the new year. I am honoured that would like me to join your group. I'll get back to you ;)<br /><br />Ju - Yes i find it hard to not include other participants in my writing. As this was my first piece targeted for HMB it was my first attempt. I prefer the richness of a full rounded cast of the fuller longer novel, so this will take practice. I'm sure i can do it though!<br /><br />I will get around to reading and commenting on your chapters ladies, please bear with me. I have been busy, very sorry, but i have every intention of reading and commenting soon :) thanks for your feedback, much appreciated :) :)Kerrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06808737330801680632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189057993341683394.post-45313824420250095032009-12-23T22:27:39.565+13:002009-12-23T22:27:39.565+13:00One more comment to add...
Generally it is prefer...One more comment to add... <br />Generally it is prefered the "Presents" line is not crowded by anyone else other than H/h. That includes the "baby", siblings etc..<br /><br />I too have the same mistake..The heroine and her sis occupy most of the chapter and much time spent in back story than the actual development between H/h.<br /><br />I've posted mine at : http://anjudimello.blogspot.com/ , in case you want to take a look and bash me with comments..Would be grateful :) <br /><br />For my other, thoughtful, insightful ;) posts, check my other blog : http://judimello.blogspot.com/<br /><br />Lolo dee, I've given my comment on yours too.. :)<br /><br />Francine, Read your chapter.. Marching right there to comment !Ju Dimellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05898589783338403889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189057993341683394.post-27121388290259112642009-12-23T17:32:25.362+13:002009-12-23T17:32:25.362+13:00Howdy Kerrin ~
I believe this chapter was a wonde...Howdy Kerrin ~<br /><br />I believe this chapter was a wonderful read and I love where the story is going.<br /><br />I do, however, feel as though there was a lot of back story which has me wondering how you are going to be able to fill the rest of the book? :-)<br /><br />Also, I believe I would start this story off with the Heroine getting prepared to meet the new boss for the first time while trying to cope with the discovery of her new 'delicate' situation. All the back story of how they met, her sister, her trying to track down her lover (which, by the way doesn't make sense if she knew he was engaged to another woman or unless she was looking for money, revenge or blackmail... which none are characteristics of a Harlequin heroine :-) ) are to me, unnecessary fillers and can be sprinkled out or introduced later in the story. Hope this makes sense...<br /><br />I can definitely see this story developing into a manuscript HMB will not be able to refuse! Seriously... and I hope that when you do decide to join a group in the new year, that you will consider working with ours. You have a great voice and I look forward to watching you grow!<br /><br />Happy holidays and best wishes!!<br /><br />Lolo DeeD L Kieferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14897731084626250506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189057993341683394.post-84312405519933805422009-12-22T10:08:09.823+13:002009-12-22T10:08:09.823+13:00Ha ha, Cooper's in for a big surprise!
Love i...Ha ha, Cooper's in for a big surprise!<br /><br />Love it, love it.<br /><br />best <br /><br />FrancineFrancine Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02326542867876257042noreply@blogger.com